Lifelong struggle
It has been a lifelong struggle,
At least for the last two
or more decades
The knowing what you must do,
Why you should do it and how.
Each day I look for my pencil,
The blue one specifically.
It is not just a blue pencil
It also writes in blue.
I need to organize and write down
My thoughts. I would alternate
Starting this with opening
My laptop and turn on a wordprocessor,
Or an online app for taking down notes.
I get lost as my notes I cannot always find
Or I try to login to the online app searching for my notes on 2 or more accounts.
I would always start, sometimes my head
Would be clear and I make progress.
But come midday around after lunch
I would get lost, in my thoughts
I get distracted so much so that if i
Try to get back to what i originally
Set out to do, I would always put it
Til the next half hour, til the next hour.
Before you know it, it is already time
To go to bed at around 12am, mostly its 2am. All along I used to juggle this with
Work. I now have little or no work.
The thing that i have started was for
Retirement, I started this around 7 years ago. And the development with the project has been mainly just moving things around.
No interaction with the outside world.
Just me, my blue pencil, my laptop and my more than 2 accounts with an online app.
I was not this way 20 or 30 years ago, well
Not totally. I got things done then.
My world was the real world then.
At least for the last two
or more decades
The knowing what you must do,
Why you should do it and how.
Each day I look for my pencil,
The blue one specifically.
It is not just a blue pencil
It also writes in blue.
I need to organize and write down
My thoughts. I would alternate
Starting this with opening
My laptop and turn on a wordprocessor,
Or an online app for taking down notes.
I get lost as my notes I cannot always find
Or I try to login to the online app searching for my notes on 2 or more accounts.
I would always start, sometimes my head
Would be clear and I make progress.
But come midday around after lunch
I would get lost, in my thoughts
I get distracted so much so that if i
Try to get back to what i originally
Set out to do, I would always put it
Til the next half hour, til the next hour.
Before you know it, it is already time
To go to bed at around 12am, mostly its 2am. All along I used to juggle this with
Work. I now have little or no work.
The thing that i have started was for
Retirement, I started this around 7 years ago. And the development with the project has been mainly just moving things around.
No interaction with the outside world.
Just me, my blue pencil, my laptop and my more than 2 accounts with an online app.
I was not this way 20 or 30 years ago, well
Not totally. I got things done then.
My world was the real world then.