So this is 62.
Looking back at 2025
Looking back the past year… overall i had an in and out relationship with stress… in the beginning of the year it started sort of happy… I spent my birthday by going on an outing with most everyone I loved, my doter and husband, grandkids, my loved one, my pet dog.
The thing is things started getting icky when the question of me not doing anything comes into play. I get nagged because I do almost nothing during the day.
Thing is 1) it gets really difficult getting jobs, or work when you hit 60+… either you need to learn new stuff in order to get work, because new things like technology keep popping out every so often… plus the fact that more and more younger people are doing the stuff that you are/was doing for years, faster and charge smaller.
2) then there is the need for some capital to be able to play with or use for a small business. This at the age I am in May or may not even bring me to a more comfortable self or life… whether I took profitability into consideration or not. Thing is I just needed something to do that is worthwhile… while i got some capital from a friend and a niece, it still wasn’t enough since i put some of the money into businesses, i still have to figure at this point to make them work.
3) then there’s this nagging thought that you sold some of your shares to put up this apartment building, thinking that you would eventually have some money to put away for something else to go into. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Instead, I get nagged to get things done around the place, to look after workfolk doing stuff. If I falter, it is my fault, if the worker falter’s it is still my fault.
4) every once in a while, (not often enough) I get some work done for one of my clients from France. Unfortunately, there are days when I waste my time driving around for errands, errands that do not even pay for my time. Not even a single peso. While true, I get to eat most of the time, but sometimes it feels the same as the way you would feed your driver or helper.
5) Sometime during the year, I started working for someone, who did not pay, yet, but had promised to give me cuts once we realized the fruits of our labor. Then again, I get accused of just womanizing. Geesh. I came to a point last year of deciding to just leave or do something else more permanent. Problem is, what happens then to my share with the apartment?
Hay such is life… fix it up it messes with you; you mess with it you mess with yourself… sometimes I would just like to rest permanently. Getting tired of this life…